Men Who Hurt in Silence

Often times no one can tell when a man is in pain or has a struggle that he cannot handle because men have learned how to mask pain and struggle since childhood. We were taught that crying was essentially a sign of total weakness. As a result, we develop throughout our lives ignoring the obvious pain that we have from various incidents in our lives for the sake of maintaining the superman persona for the world.

I want to caution all of my brothers to not remain in silence alone. Not to continue to scream a silent scream in your head or simply resolve the total matter by displaying deep seeded anger. When pain is masked, it leads to self destruction. My brother, please don't allow the enemy and those who hurt you in the past, destroy the plan God ordained for your life. No! More! Silence!

How can you, a man, safely navigate leaving your cave of silence without losing your perception of being strong? First acknowledge that there are issues that have never been resolved and there is hope beyond the current methods you have used to mask the pain.

Second, release the guilt and pain from the experiences to Christ. How? Cast your every thought, care, anger, guilt, rejection, hurt, abandonment upon the Lord because He is so...concerned about you man. Jesus is not concerned about the perception of society and how they define weakness and strength. His perspective is in your weakness His strength is made perfect.

Third, find a strong Christian brother who you can be transparent with. Unmask and tell him the issues that cause you to hurt in silence. Ask him to commit to praying for and with you on a consistent basis. The moment you open your mouth and begin to speak about the pain of the divorce, the death of a loved one, the issues of your childhood, you will experience such a release in your spirit that you have never experienced before.

Fourth, Mediate on the word of God. Allow His word to minister to every wound that is oozing with pain. Mediate on Isaiah 26:3, " I will keep him in perfect peace who keeps his mind stayed on me." Also reflect on Psalm 91. The bible is replete with scriptures that will bring continual healing to your spirit.

Listen my brother! You do not have to remain in silence any longer. God is concerned about you and the pain that you have in your spirit. You are not alone, there are millions of men who continue to mask during the day and unmask at home never to find the deliverance and resolve they so desperately seek.

No! More! Silence!

The Power of Fatherhood

I am convinced that God has placed a special calling upon Fathers to impact the lives of their children and those whom the Lord places in their path. We are indeed called to mold, lead, guide and provide an example to one of God's most precious gifts, children.

I am so amazed at the process in which God decided to bring Jesus into the world. Although He did not allow a man to physically create Jesus, He did allow a man, Joseph, to mentor, train and guide one of His most precious possessions.

I can only imagine the sit-down chats Joseph had with Jesus. The conversations they must have had as Joseph showed Jesus how to master the carpenter's trade. It must have been something to experience Jesus developing from an infant to a twelve year old who decided to stay back in the temple and talk about the Torah.

Joseph, I believe, represents a man who understood that his love for Jesus was more powerful than the fact that Jesus was not his natural son. Joseph did not allow the circumstances of Jesus' birth to prevent him from being the earthly father any young boy needs to become a strong man.  Now that is a great example of a man who understood the "Power of Fatherhood".

To appreciate this power and see the need to be a father figure , we only need to look at the horrible consequences that result when fathers are not in the lives of children. Did you know that research shows that children without fathers are more prone to enter the prison system, crime and experience emotional instability? I know that there are exceptions to the research, but there are so many young men and women in prison right now who will say without reservation, "They wished they had a father".

Fathers, Mentors, Uncles, Grandfathers, we all have a god-given responsibility to mentor and guide the young people who God has placed in our lives. Let's commit this Father's Day to touch the lives of young people in at least the following ways:

a. Demonstrate godly principles for them to emulate.

b. Provide godly advice that will help young people make wise decisions.

c. Allow our young people to make mistakes while they are under our tutelage.

d. Pray without ceasing for our young people's salvation and future.

e. Show our young people how to navigate the economic system of the world and the Kingdom of God.

f. Disciple each young person so that they can become what God destined them to be.


If we can commit to these six principles, we too can experience, as Joseph did with Jesus, the "Power of Fatherhood".