Often times no one can tell when a man is in pain or has a struggle that he cannot handle because men have learned how to mask pain and struggle since childhood. We were taught that crying was essentially a sign of total weakness. As a result, we develop throughout our lives ignoring the obvious pain that we have from various incidents in our lives for the sake of maintaining the superman persona for the world.
I want to caution all of my brothers to not remain in silence alone. Not to continue to scream a silent scream in your head or simply resolve the total matter by displaying deep seeded anger. When pain is masked, it leads to self destruction. My brother, please don't allow the enemy and those who hurt you in the past, destroy the plan God ordained for your life. No! More! Silence!
How can you, a man, safely navigate leaving your cave of silence without losing your perception of being strong? First acknowledge that there are issues that have never been resolved and there is hope beyond the current methods you have used to mask the pain.
Second, release the guilt and pain from the experiences to Christ. How? Cast your every thought, care, anger, guilt, rejection, hurt, abandonment upon the Lord because He is so...concerned about you man. Jesus is not concerned about the perception of society and how they define weakness and strength. His perspective is in your weakness His strength is made perfect.
Third, find a strong Christian brother who you can be transparent with. Unmask and tell him the issues that cause you to hurt in silence. Ask him to commit to praying for and with you on a consistent basis. The moment you open your mouth and begin to speak about the pain of the divorce, the death of a loved one, the issues of your childhood, you will experience such a release in your spirit that you have never experienced before.
Fourth, Mediate on the word of God. Allow His word to minister to every wound that is oozing with pain. Mediate on Isaiah 26:3, " I will keep him in perfect peace who keeps his mind stayed on me." Also reflect on Psalm 91. The bible is replete with scriptures that will bring continual healing to your spirit.
Listen my brother! You do not have to remain in silence any longer. God is concerned about you and the pain that you have in your spirit. You are not alone, there are millions of men who continue to mask during the day and unmask at home never to find the deliverance and resolve they so desperately seek.
No! More! Silence!
- Kevin M. Jackson, M.A., M. Div.
- Kevin M. Jackson, A 1994 graduate of Savannah State University with a B.S. degree in Biology and a Masters degree in Urban Education from Norfolk State University and a Masters of Divinity from Liberty University. Elder Jackson is a Chaplain in the United States Navy. He worked as a Science educator for over 14 years. Mr. Jackson is the author of two books; When God Speaks and Life Lessons For My Sons. He is the father of Ephraim, Elim and Elisha and several spiritual sons. Elder Jackson is married to Nila Nash Jackson.